It went in on 02/02/11 and on that day my sanity went out the window.
"You might feel a little bit depressed...." The Doctor said. Depressed? Really? Try paranoid, morbidly sad and frighteningly unbalanced.
Honestly, the last 6 months have just been horrific and I had no idea why. I just thought I was stuck in a rut.
Lucky for me, I finally came to my senses and realised that my life had gone to poo, in part due to the random chemicals being released into my body each day.
It took a majorly embarrassing meltdown on Monday of this week, to finally be my wake up call to do something about my situation.
I had become so insular that I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. I wanted to be by myself. I cried a lot and about nothing. I was convinced people were talking about me. I became suspicious and withdrawn. I was angry and snappy. I put on weight and had terrible skin. I was hungry all the time. I was paranoid and just so so sad. I was wired and couldn't sleep properly. In short, I just wasn't right.
Honestly, it should be called "Man Repellent". Because really, there is no chance of you getting pregnant or anyone wanting to even be with you when you are bloated, have horrible skin and are a complete looney tune....
It was a bit of a process to get it out of my arm, especially as the Doctor had put it in so deeply but I didn't care. I'd committed to going to whatever lengths necessary to get it out. I didn't care if she cut me open and stitched the whole way down, it just had to come out! Hell, I didn't care if she cut OFF my arm at that point. I wanted it out.
And ridiculously enough, I felt better immediately. You are completely infertile when it goes in, and completely fertile the moment it comes out. In short, you are immediately crazy when it goes in and immediately sane when it comes out.
I potentially should have listened to the countless amounts of people who said "don't do it" but I was convinced it would be the answers to my prayers. It wasn't.
I know that this product works for many thousands of women all over the world. And lucky them! But I, unfortunately am no poster girl for it and I'm so pleased it is gone.
Suffice to say, the last 4 days have been amazing. I feel clear and calm and happy. Almost without a single care in the world.
And now to correct the mistakes I've made. Stalk the people that I've upset and beg them to forgive me. Eat healthier. Work smarter. Excercise more. Sleep. Spend time with friends. Get into the garden. Enjoy my life. Be grateful for the wonderful things around me.
And I'm....back!
Grateful :-)
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