Day 1 - Today I am grateful for....Second Chances

And so it begins....

Day 1: Today I am grateful for....Second Chances.

You know, sometimes in life, God throws a curveball our way. A marriage ends. A friendship ends. There is an ending of some description. You wish wholeheartedly that that person would just give you...a second chance. And they won't. For whatever reason, that ship has sailed. Perhaps one woman was not enough. Perhaps you were not a good friend.

Whatever the reason may be, forgiveness is not an option and something has come to an end.

It's devastating. It's gut wrenching. It's hideous. It's an awful feeling to realise that you are not enough for someone. In whatever capacity that may be. And that absolutely nothing you can do, can ever make it right again.

Many times this year, my Mother's voice has echoed in my head "Leah, God doesn't give us anything we cannot handle" and many times, I've replied (often out loud to myself - which is another story again...ha ha) with "Yes, but I think he thinks I'm much stronger than I actually am". But the Sun always comes up the next morning. There is always a brand new day. And I'm still here.

I've been given a second chance at life. It may not have been the second chance I wanted, but it's a second chance none the less.

When my Husband left me for another woman, a part of me died that day. And I will never ever be the same again. I obsessed that if he would "just give me another chance" I could make it right. When I was not a good friend, and a choice was made, I again obsessed that if she would "just give me another chance", I could make it right. But I couldn't. And some realisations in life are hard to live with.

I, this year, have been a bad wife and a bad friend. Two things that I will never forgive myself for. I admit it and take responsibility for it. Not all of it. Lay blame where blame is due but whilst those special people in my life wouldn't give me a second chance to make right the parts I got wrong, I still got one anyway! Who'd have thought it?

I've been given a second chance to live my life the way I want to. I have a second chance at LIFE itself. I can enjoy my wonderful family and friends. I can enjoy my job. I can enjoy my pets. I can enjoy my home. I can enjoy being me again.

I have been blessed with a second chance to eventually love someone else, and have them realise I'm worth loving. To know what it is like to have someone love me...just as I am.

I have been blessed with a second chance to prove to my friends that I am a good friend and I'm worth knowing. To be able to show them that I care about them and love them more than all the stars.

I have been blessed with a second chance to never ever make the same mistakes again.

So, when a door closes, remember somewhere, God always opens a window....

So, here's to second chances!

Boy, am I grateful for you....