There have been some times in the last 12 months where I have not been a good friend. I have made some mistakes that I cannot take back, no matter how much I wish I could. I acknowledge my mistakes and have tried to make amends to the best of my ability. Sometimes I have been forgiven, sometimes not.
Often I find myself reflecting on the times that I've let people down. I truly haven't meant to. I would never hurt someone intentionally. Not now, not ever. But I torture myself for the things I cannot fix.
But you know what? There are times that I have been a good friend. In fact, there are many times that I've been a good friend. And just because I haven't been sometimes, doesn't negate the times I have.
I do really try to be a good friend. I'm available 24/7 if someone needs to talk. I've answered the phone many times in the wee hours of the morning to a friend in need. I've housed and clothed friends in need. I've talked and cried and offered advice. I've loaned money to friends. I've kept secrets and shared my own. I'm the friend that picks you up at 3am so you don't have to catch a cab or I won't drink so you have a lift home and are safe. I throw an epic party and I always try to give thoughtful gifts. I am an open and non-judgemental ear. I'm a decent person and I don't lie. I'm fiercely loyal and am a vault with a secret. I'm kind and friendly and I'm always, well....there.
And so today, when I was recognised for being a good friend, with the most amazingly thoughtful and epic gesture, in my hour of desperate need, and without having to ask for help, I just don't know how to thank my secret saviours. They know who they are and I don't want to publicly embarrass them but thankyou guys - from the bottom of my hearts.
I love you and am truly grateful for what you did for me today. Thankyou x
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