But I was hurting. Bad.
My poor body has copped a bit of hiding the past few weeks, in terms of lack of sleep, stress and not eating well and I'm starting to feel it. Good old Fibromyalgia doesn't really miss you when you're stressed.
I've not disclosed during my blog thus far, that I suffer from a disease called Fibromyalgia, and it is largely because it is misunderstood and sufferers are deemed to be hypochondriacs.....Well let me tell you, for those that suffer from this horrible muscle and joint disorder, I can assure you it's not in our head.
Largely misunderstood and dismissed by the medical profession as depression, people with Fibromyalgia keep fairly quiet about their struggles as no one really believes you. There is no test. There is no cure. Very similar to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, there are a million different things that umbrella a painful infliction that nothing can be done for. Excellent.
Most days are a struggle and I'm in pain 90% of the time, if not more. I'm tired and lethargic and if I could stay in bed all day, I probably would. My body aches and there are many other bits and bobs that come with it, that make life, well, hard.
I was diagnosed 12 years ago, after I struggled to breathe at work one day because of shooting pain in the intercostal muscles of my ribs. I'd not injured myself but it hurt - a lot. I rushed off to the Doctor, who diagnosed me, at 19, with Fibromyalgia. I'd never heard of it before. But once explained, it made sense. There are 9 points on the body called trigger points and if touched is a fairly good indicator. That coupled with all the rest of the issues, and you might have what I do. It's likely that I've had it a lot longer than that though, as apparently it can be triggered by an event or an illness such as Glandular Fever. I had Glandular Fever when I was 10.....you do the math.
I've tried everything - massage, rheumatologists, doctors, natropathy, medications, anti-depressants, chiropractors, remedial massage, kinesiology....you name it, I've tried it. There isn't much to help us unfortunately. It's just life.
I do try not to complain and just get on with it. People don't understand though, why there are things I can't do, like lift heavy things, or stay out drinking until 3am. There are times when my memory becomes so bad that I can't even remember my own name and my strength so bad that I cannot hold onto a glass. There are times where I have ground my teeth in my sleep until my teeth crack. A small touch or friendly slap on the back from a friend can cause exponential amounts of pain. I can't sit for too long and I'm so tired all the time. And so the list goes on. This will be something that I live with daily for the rest of my life. I tell you what though, when I'm as stressed and worn out as I am at the moment, it's nothing short of a nightmare.
Cue: Shining Light in the form of Brendan and his amazing spa :-) Grateful.
No, this isn't a picture of Brendan's Spa but this picture is as close to how it feels as I could find :-)
There are a couple of things that can help with the pain. Sleep is a good one, although not particularly helpful when we (Fibromyalgia sufferers) actually miss out on the restorative part of sleep, but at least we are resting and still. Vitamin B in the form of an injection once a month or more. Then there are obviously pain killers but you can't rely on them all the time. Massage, light exercise and warm water do also sometimes help.
But at the end of the day, these are the cards I have been dealt with in life and so the show must go on....
And so what better way to feel a little bit better but to wander over to Brendans for a spa on a Sunday afternoon for some warm healing water and bubbles. Bliss!
Grateful.
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