Whilst a bit of a downer, it is however, the one day of the year, that we all get to catch up and eat and drink and laugh.
This year was especially great as I got to meet my new Nieces, Sasha & Zoe - cute! We've never had short people at our Christmas before. It's usually just Mum, Dad, me and occasionally my Aunty Julie. More recently, we have been joined by my Brother, Andrew & his wife Stacey. And this year, we were plus two more! What a treat.
I love spending time with my family. My Mum is the most amazing cook in the world, so our Christmas looked like this:It was awesome!
We all ate too much and had a fabulous time. Where else in the world can you go and spend time with amazing people and get spoilt (for no real valid reason), to celebrate someone else's Birthday? We managed to catch up on a whole year in a matter of hours, while trying to control two very mobile toddlers! No mean feat....
I was extremely spoilt by my parents, my family and several of my friends. Whilst I appreciate the gesture and the time put into to giving me so many special things (which I don't expect), what I love the most about Christmas is watching the people I love open the treasures that I found for them. I try really hard to make sure that the gifts that I give mean something and have thought attached and whilst I might not be able to always afford the biggest and the best, I do what I can. At the end of the day, it really is the thought that counts. And frankly, if you could box up all the love that I feel for my family and friends....well you would just never find a box big enough.
It was a fairly bitter sweet day today though. So many emotions and memories flooded through me. I awoke alone in my bed, again. I guess when I closed my eyes last night, I vaguely hoped that Santa would bring me the most precious kind of gift......the end of a very long and horrible nightmare. Alas, it was not to be and I woke up to Christmas, the same way I do every other day. Alone. I half heartedly attempted to clean my house, expecting to feel some kind of something but that didn't come either. I put on some Christmas Carols to perk myself up but that kind of failed too so I put together a couple of platters, kissed my kids goodbye and headed over to my parents for lunch. And although greeted with many hugs and much excitement, the emptiness in my heart just didn't really lift.
I bumbled though the day, playing with the kids and smiling and chatting and laughing but my heart really wasn't in it.
But tonight, I sat down with my Mum, Dad & Aunty Julie to watch Anne of Green Gables (my favourite movie), and I felt better. I felt calm and content. Although I feel alone, I realise I am not. And as I said to a girlfriend of mine, who had fairly similar feelings about today, it's times like today that it's so important to remember the people in our life who do matter and who love you so much. And the people who don't care, don't matter. And so I bid farewell to sad memories until next year. I hope that the pain in my heart will have lifted sufficiently by then for it to feel like Christmas again. I hope that enough time will have passed that the burdens of Christmases past will be a very far distant memory, with only new and happy ones to take their place.
So today, I'm so grateful for special time spent with family and for a very Merry Christmas xxx
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