Lost Love. Lost Friendship. Divorce. Turning 30. Financial Hardship. Devastation. Loss. Pain. Heartache.
For me 2010 was just as horrible as its twin Brother, 2009.
There were definately some joys, don't get me wrong.....
I was ecstatic for my friends who got engaged this year. I'm loving the new friendships formed and the old ones made stronger. I'm thankful for people's patience with me. I'm endlessly grateful for the support from family and friends. I'm delighted with my sustained 20kg weightloss. I'm in love with the renovations of MY home.
But despite that, and the fact that I'm trying to be grateful every day, I just feel an emptiness in my heart all the time. I put on my smile and hope that if I pretend for long enough, the reality will come.
In truth, hope is ultimately a waste of time. All the wishing in the world will not bring back anything I've lost. My prayers remain unanswered. My heart remains hollowed out. My reality is where I sit right now.
And so I look forward to the opportunities in 2011. My 31st year. Let it please be better than the last couple. I've got some things I'd like to achieve this year and so many fabulous things to look forward to. So bring it on!
So today, I'm grateful to be saying goodbye to a tough year. And hello to a brand new one!
When God closes a door, somewhere he always opens a window....
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